Ok so it's been forever since I have updated this thing... but I guess it is time... Currently I can't sleep. I have to be at work at 5:30am for black Friday from hell... But at least I will be done at 2... I don't know what's going on... Well to start off... I have yet to have a thanksgiving... I have yet to have my mashed potatoes, stuffing, turkey, green bean casserole, corn, pumpkin pie, etc. And that's really sad bc thanksgiving food is like my favorite food of all time... but I mean I guess its good be I would be a very fat person if I ate it all the time... lol well anyways my thanksgiving break hasn't been that great and its stressing me out far too much...
Well regardless... I am at my apt right now, but I should be at home... why am I not you ask... well we were temporarily evacuated... bc of carbon monoxide... basically we think our gas furnace thingie has a crack in it, and who knows how long we've been ingesting fumes... so we had the gas people and the fire dept come to our house to tell us we had a reading of like 33, and technically its bad at 10... so that was fun...
pt. 2 about my not so thankfulness during thanksgiving is about medical insurance... I know it sounds weird, but even at 22 its a big thing for me... I'm sure they will throw a party whenever I am no longer a dependent of my dad... but it seriously sucks... I mean since freshman year when i got mono, bronchitis, and strap throat, my immune system has been shot to hell... thus I catch everything anyone in Lexington gets... thus I have lots of doctors visits... I am the most accident prone person ever, and have injury's all over, and many more doctors visits... Third I'm adhd, like really bad adhd... and then I have seizure medication, and sleeping pills (b/c of the adhd)... basically to sum it all up... without insurance my prescription meds alone would cost over 800 dollars a month.
Thing is, one of the reasons I went directly to grad school out of college, was b/c I couldn't afford to lose my medical insurance... Well I just got a rude awakening...turns out insurance stops the year you turn 24... well lucky for me that year will be 2008... December 27th to be exact, 4 days before the year 2009... so basically being born four days sooner, screws me out of a year of medical insurance... I will have six months of insurance in grad school... and this will run out Jan 1, 2008.
This is the biggest load of crap I have ever heard... How do they expect people to finish higher education, while obtaining a full time job to get insurance with? Why are they punishing someone who has struggled her whole life through school to get where she is now, and the medication she is taking is helping her accomplish her goals? I'm sure there are many people this doesn't affect as severely as me, I'm sure many are lucky to have January birthdays, or lucky to not need the amount of medications I do. I don't take medications bc I want to, I take them bc I have to. I take them to put me on the same level playing field as everyone else. Even with my medications, I have to work twice as hard to do the same thing as someone else. I don't know the meaning of give up, I know the meaning of hard work, and I feel like I am not being rewarded for it. I feel like I am being stomped on at every opportunity someone can stomp on me. People don't understand what it's like. I know so many people who seem like the luckiest people on earth, opportunities just seem to fall in their laps. Why them? What have they done that is so damn special?
I don’t even expect this luck to fall on me, I just would like to not be the one shat on every so often. I would like to been equal with everyone else, and not constantly fighting her way upstream, when everyone else has motorboat to take him or her to his or her goal. I know and have came to accept that life isn’t fair, and have worked very hard to make my own luck, but there is only so much I can do, and when every turn I make pushes me back down, its hard to keep getting up.


**this is not an attempt to get sympathy... merely one of my rants**